As I’m sitting here en route to Washington, DC, I can’t help but feel a mix of emotions concerning my post-graduate future. My decision basically dwindles down to two options: DC or LA. I’m sure you’ve seen me post about this predicament on Facebook or Twitter, but this is probably one of the – if not THE - most critical decisions I will ever make.
So to break it down, right now I’m in the running for Public Allies Los Angeles, an AmeriCorps program that pairs you with a local non-profit agency. The fellowship is paid, provides benefits, and makes me eligible for a $5,500 educational stipend for the future. Public Allies would give me the opportunity to work directly in the community that has given so much to me and to better understand community conditions in order to address them through public policy. But like I said, I’m only still in the running, and even though I feel good about it, it’s not guaranteed.
On the other side of the country in DC, I landed this amazing internship (sorry if I’m vague, but I can’t talk about it publicly). Friends and relatives say I would be CRAZY to give this up. I would gain real world insight in government and strengthen my understanding of economic policy before getting my Master in Public Policy, and I’ll be real, I wanna go to Harvard. But the thing is, it’s unpaid, only until December, and the biggest factor weighing on my mind: I would have to start my life COMPLETELY over.
And that’s what worries me. The past four years in LA have been the most amazing, inspiring, and empowering years of my life, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to give that up, pack my bags, and move across the country to an unfamiliar land. When I was in DC two summers ago, it was fun and all, but I always knew that at the end of the summer I would be able to return to my comfortable life in California.
I feel like my LA Bucket List is still far from being checked off. This sounds really stupid, admittedly, but I still want to go to WeHo on weekends, concerts, raves, QPC, SPCN and P-Grad as an alumni, and explore LA because Westwood, frankly, is not LA. Will I have that same social network and experience in DC? The thought of going home at the end of every day after my internship and having no one or nothing to do absolutely petrifies me.
And don’t get me started on the thought of leaving my mentees, adings, babies, and friends and the effect that has on making me want to stay at least one more year. Because once I move to the East Coast, I’ll be there for at least 5 years. 2-3 years work experience before grad school, 2 years getting my MPP, then at least a couple years working there.
Gaaah. As I travel to DC, wish me clarity of mind as I consider these competing factors. The internship will always be there right? Stay in LA just one more year and milk it for all it’s worth? Or is it time to move on and start fresh?
What would you do?
